I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
