I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Randomize
