I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
