i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
