he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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