i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
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