she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Everyone says I win the strip club
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
