my vag is so smooth its legendary
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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