So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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