3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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