Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize