I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
