maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Randomize
