this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
