You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Randomize
