he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
