CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
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