Walk of Shame. In a state park.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
