Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
