U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
