party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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