C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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