Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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