My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
