ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize