I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Randomize
