I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
he fucked my hip out of place.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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