i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Randomize
