and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
My pussy is not your playground.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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