best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
he had hair everywhere except his balls
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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