I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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