I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
