Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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