OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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