just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
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