I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Randomize
