Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
