I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
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