He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
why is half of my head shaved?
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