it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
i just made my gag reflex go away.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
