(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
