We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
