What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
