shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
