Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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