She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
