New invention idea: vibrating tampons
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
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