she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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