I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
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Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
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Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
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