she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
