Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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