Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
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