I got chris browned last night
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
