Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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