That's intense
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
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