Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
