Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
