You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
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