redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
