Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
