remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
They took my balls.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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