Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
