hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
And then my night got REAL pukey
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
