I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
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