He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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